Freezing Your Eggs: Hope, Reality, and What No One Tells You

The Promise of Egg Freezing

For many people who want children but haven’t found the right partner—or aren’t ready due to career or life circumstances—egg freezing seems like the perfect solution. It’s often marketed as a way to “buy time” and ensure future parenthood when the timing is better.

But what happens when that time comes, and things don’t go as planned?

In my recent interview with Sandra, she shared her experience freezing her eggs at 36, thinking it would guarantee her a baby when she was ready. She described it as feeling like travel insurance—something you buy hoping you’ll never have to use, but it’s there just in case. Many people approach egg freezing with the same mindset, believing that if they take action now, they’ll have options later.

The reality, however, is much more complicated.

Sandra also shared: "Although my egg freezing was very successful—I got 12—on the phone call from the fertility doctor, I was advised to do it again for even more of a guarantee. So there it is, like there's no end to the amount of insurance you can buy."

Why People Choose to Freeze Their Eggs

There are many reasons why someone might decide to freeze their eggs, including:

✔ Lack of a partner – They want children but haven’t met the right person yet.

✔ Career focus – They’re prioritising education or work and want to wait.

✔ Health reasons – Conditions like endometriosis or cancer treatments may affect fertility.

✔ Uncertainty – They’re unsure if they’ll want children later but want to keep the option open.

For Sandra, it was mainly about preserving her options. She knew she wanted to be a mother but hadn’t found a life partner, so freezing her eggs felt like taking control of her future.

However, as she later discovered, egg freezing is not a guarantee of a baby—it’s a possibility, not a promise.

The Emotional Toll of Egg Freezing

Most discussions about egg freezing focus on the logistics—costs, hormone injections, and success rates. What’s often missing from the conversation is the emotional impact of the process.

Sandra shared that, at first, she felt empowered by her decision. But once she started hormone injections, she experienced intense mood swings, anxiety, and a feeling of urgency about finding a partner. The hormones affected her in ways she hadn’t anticipated, leaving her feeling emotionally vulnerable.

Many women go into egg freezing underestimating how taxing it can be, both physically and mentally. There’s also the pressure of hope—the belief that these eggs will one day become a baby. But what happens if they don’t?

Sandra shared this interesting thought with me: "If we are born with x number of eggs at birth and we freeze our eggs how might that impact our fertility or in my case, did it have an impact on the quality of the eggs which I naturally became pregnant with, making miscarriage more likely. I will never know that answer to that question but it is a doubt."

The Physical Realities of Egg Freezing

While some people tolerate the process well, others experience:

• Hormonal side effects – Mood swings, anxiety, bloating, headaches, and fatigue.

• Injection discomfort – Many struggle with the daily hormone injections, especially if they have a fear of needles.

• Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS) – A possible side effect where the ovaries become swollen and painful.

• Surgical retrieval – The egg retrieval process requires anesthesia, and while typically safe, it carries risks like infection or internal bleeding.

Sandra described how her body didn’t feel like her own for months, and even years later, she discovered that the hormone treatments had left lasting effects on her reproductive system.

These are things that often get glossed over in the marketing of egg freezing. Clinics highlight the success stories but rarely discuss the long-term consequences or how it affects mental health.

The Financial Burden

Egg freezing is expensive. In countries like the U.S., a single cycle can cost between $10,000–$20,000, not including annual storage fees and the later cost of IVF if someone decides to use their eggs.

Sandra was lucky to be living in Barcelona, a city known as a fertility hub, where the procedure was more affordable. However, she still had to make a major financial decision—should she invest in something she might never use?

This is a reality many people face. Do you:

💰 Spend thousands of dollars on freezing eggs that may never become a baby?

🤔 Take the risk of waiting and hoping to conceive naturally later?

For some, the cost is worth the peace of mind. For others, it leads to regret and frustration, especially if they later struggle with infertility despite having frozen eggs.

What Happens When You Never Use the Eggs?

One of the least-discussed aspects of egg freezing is what happens when those frozen eggs remain unused.

At 39, Sandra met her husband and conceived naturally at 42. While she initially felt validated that she “didn’t need them,” her eggs later became a symbol of loss when she struggled with pregnancy loss and infertility.

She eventually tried IVF with the eggs she had frozen, but only one made it to implantation—and it didn’t work.

Sandra shared with me that: "I thought if I did not use my frozen eggs I could "donate" them but as I was over 35 I was told this was not an option."

For many people who freeze their eggs, this is an unexpected emotional dilemma:

👉 If you conceive naturally, what do you do with the frozen eggs?

👉 If IVF fails, how do you cope with the loss of those potential children?

👉 If you decide not to have children, is discarding the eggs a form of grief?

These are questions most people never think about when they freeze their eggs—but they become very real later on.

Is Egg Freezing Worth It?

The answer depends on the individual. Some women freeze their eggs and later successfully use them to have children. Others, like Sandra, find that life takes a different path.

What’s most important is that people go into it with realistic expectations:

✅ It’s an option, not a guarantee.

✅ It’s a physically and emotionally demanding process.

✅ It’s expensive, and not everyone will be able to afford multiple rounds.

✅ The future is unpredictable—you may never use the eggs, or they may not result in a pregnancy.

For those considering egg freezing, it’s essential to ask the hard questions now, rather than waiting until later to process the emotions that come with it.

Final Thoughts

Sandra’s story is a reminder that the journey to parenthood is never as simple as we imagine. While egg freezing can be a great tool for some, it’s not a magic solution—and it comes with significant emotional and financial costs.

If you’re considering freezing your eggs, take the time to:

✔ Research success rates and risks

✔ Think about the emotional impact

✔ Consider what you’ll do if you never use them

And most importantly, know that your worth is not tied to whether or not you have a baby.

What do you think about egg freezing?

Have you gone through the process, or are you considering it? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

With love and compassion,

Rosie x

Read Sandra's full story here.