Infant Loss Feels Like an Earthquake: Rebuilding Your Life After Baby Loss

When you go through infant loss, it can feel impossible to explain to someone who hasn’t been there. How do you describe the devastation of miscarriage, stillbirth or a termination for medical reasons?

One way I’ve found to explain it is with a metaphor: infant loss feels like an earthquake.

The City Before the Earthquake

Imagine your life as a city. Everything is standing, everything feels secure and the foundations are strong. Then one day, without warning, an earthquake hits. Suddenly, nothing looks the same again.

The Collapse

Houses fall. Friendships crumble. Some people walk away because they don’t know how to face the destruction with you. Your place of worship may be shaken or destroyed, your faith tested in ways you never imagined. The school cracks, representing the painful lessons you never wanted to learn about infertility, grief or loss.

From the outside, people might still see a functioning city. They don’t know the history, the pain or the devastation hidden beneath the surface.

The Rebuilding

Slowly, little by little, new houses are built. New friendships form. New support arrives. You start to gather the pieces of yourself and put them back together. The school expands, holding knowledge you never expected to carry. Faith may shift, change or even grow stronger.

The city will never look the same again and neither will you. But different does not mean bad. A rebuilt city can still be full of meaning, love and hope.

You Don’t Have to Rebuild Alone

When I experienced two miscarriages, a missed miscarriage and a termination for medical reasons at 26 weeks, my world turned upside down. I felt like my city had been flattened. Over time, I rebuilt my city but it was only possible with support, new friendships and new ways of looking at life.

If you’re in the middle of this earthquake, please know you don’t have to rebuild your city alone. I offer one-on-one peer support through Healing After Infant Loss. Together, we can hold space for the devastation, and slowly begin to rebuild.

https://healingafterinfantloss.com/11-peer-support/

It may take time, it may never look exactly the same, but your life can still hold beauty.

 

Sending you so much love and support. You are not alone, and you don't have to rebuild your city by yourself.

 

Rosie 🌸