Therapy, Journalling and Crafting After Infant Loss: A Conversation with Tavinder

Healing after infant loss looks different for everyone. In today’s conversation, I sit with writer and advocate Tavinder to explore three gentle pillars of support that have helped her rebuild a meaningful life after cancer, fertility treatment, adenomyosis and a hysterectomy: therapy, journaling and crafting.

Tavinder’s story in brief

Cancer introduced fertility preservation. IVF in her 40s did not work. Adenomyosis and heavy bleeding led to a hysterectomy. That decision closed the door to pregnancy and opened a new chapter of processing grief, identity and next steps.

Why therapy helps

Therapy offers a private, non-judgemental space to be heard. A good therapist mirrors your words back, validates your experience, and equips you with tools you can use every day. For couples, therapy supports two parallel truths, the pregnant partner’s physical experience and the partner’s witnessing, logistics and admin of loss. Different grief styles are normal. A skilled therapist helps both people feel seen and understood.

Tips for finding the right therapist:

  • Look for properly registered professionals and relevant experience with loss, infertility or childlessness.

  • Notice rapport early. If values or approach misalign, it is okay to change.

  • Try formats that suit your life, online or phone can work as well as in-person.

  • If cost is a concern, ask your GP about referrals or search low-cost community options.

Journalling that actually helps

Journalling is not a test. Spelling and grammar do not matter. The goal is to move thoughts and feelings from your body onto a page.

How to start:

  • Set a 5 or 10 minute timer and write without stopping.

  • Name what is present, anger, jealousy, tenderness, relief. All emotions are valid.

  • Include joy. Recording glimmers, small wins and moments of peace balances the narrative.

  • Use prompts if you feel stuck:

    • What feels heavy today and where do I notice it in my body?

    • What do I need more of and less of this week?

    • If my partner could hear one sentence from me today, what would it be?

     

Sharing your writing with trusted communities can reduce isolation, but private pages are powerful too.

Crafting as mindful medicine

Hands-on making shifts attention from rumination to creation. It can be low-cost, playful and social.

Ideas to try:

  • Diamond painting, colouring books, paint-by-numbers

  • Simple card making for birthdays or holidays

  • Embroidery, crochet, jewellery kits, Lego builds

  • Local library or community centre craft clubs

  • Online tutorials and beginner classes

 

Crafting can be solo self-care or done with a partner for connection and laughter. It is not about productivity or profit. It is about presence.

Getting started, gently

  • Begin where you are ready. Therapy, a notebook, or a small craft kit.

  • Keep sessions short at first and stop before you feel overwhelmed.

  • Choose low-pressure environments, inclusive groups and facilitators who honour grief.

  • Track what helps your sleep, mood and relationships, then do a little more of that.

You are not alone

Whether you are exploring therapy after infant loss, learning to journal, or picking up coloured pencils for the first time in years, there is no right or wrong way to heal. There is only your way, at your pace.

Further support:

 

I hope this information is useful to some of you and thank you Tavinder for sharing so many gems!

 

With love and compassion,

Rosie x

 

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